Happy

At the root of the general lack of contentment that prevails in the lives of many mothers is selfishness and pride. It often presents itself in her thought life through questions like the following. What about me? What about my dreams? What about my enjoyment? What about my future, my career, and my life?

These thoughts result in distractibility from the truest joys of motherhood, and feelings of discontent that pervade her thoughts, ultimate resulting in words and actions that diminish her relationships with those who she should hold most dear.

For ladies, much of this discontent comes as a result of their entertainment choices. It's impossible for me to overemphasize the level of influence that the things we put into our minds have over our thought lives. If your daily "lessons" are coming from TV shows like "Young and the Restless" and "Desperate Housewives," then you are sabotaging your chances of embracing the blessings that flow from being the loving and giving wife and mother that God created you to be.

These sources of deception that many call entertainment are putting women in bondage to lies of Satan, lies that lead them to believe that true joy comes from serving self, living for self, glorifying self, regardless of how it affects everyone else. It leads women to believe that they are not here to serve, but to be served, and that that is where true happiness can be found in this life.

All lies.

Many feel that happiness is the ultimate goal to aspire to in this life, and while doing so are passing the idea on to their children that this is what life is all about. Yet happiness is just a feeling, and like all feelings, it is fleeting. It's not going to last, no matter how you look at it. Ironically, the more you seek to attain it with your eyes set on "happy" as your primary goal, the more illusive it becomes. The more that you make that your greatest aspiration, the more difficult it is to find.

God's Word teaches us that true joy and fulfillment in life come not as a result of seeking our own best, but rather in seeking to meet the needs of others and channeling our energies accordingly. This has been very practically exhibited in studies that have shown that it truly is "more blessed to give than receive," that the resultant joy from giving is of more lasting value than the joy that we get from receiving.

In view of this, it becomes apparent that if we live our lives in exaltation of self,  passing these habits and aspirations down to our children, we who are supposed to love them the most are becoming the greatest vessels of deception in their lives.

Jesus Christ, the son of God, and the greatest man to ever walk the face of the earth, came not to be served but to serve. He washed the feet of his disciples, healed those who were physically ill, fed the poor, and encouraged the broken-hearted. The climax of his service to us culminated in His dying on the cross, bridging the gap between broken and sinful man and a Holy and perfect God.

He did this not only to provide for us a gateway to heaven, as if that was not enough, but he served this way in order to set a pattern for believers, a way of living in which we put ourselves aside, loving others first. What an honor not only to be assured entrance into heaven but to have the opportunity to emulate Him here on earth, through serving and loving others.

I encourage you to think on that the next time you're tempted to ask, "What about me?"

Stay Connected

People need time to pause, reflect, pray, and even daydream a bit. These are things that bring clarity to the mind and restoration to the soul. In order to function optimally, our minds and bodies need moments just "to be."

For many, mobile technology, generally via cell phone, is the enemy of achieving this needful balance.

It fosters self indulgent attitudes and disdain toward anyone who dares to permeate this abstract barrier of connection. Ironically, the more connected people perceive themselves to be, the less connected they actually are to the truly significant moments and people in their lives.

We would all do well to be diligent in finding appropriate balance in these areas and being consistent in the standards that we set. If we do, then we will most certainly look back one day and be so thankful that we did.

Your Part

Many Christian parents are angered by the fact that schools are becoming more secularized and less godly, and rightly so. This along with the godlessness in all areas of society warrants concern and sometimes action on the part of Christians.

Yet, often we are more apt to point out what we consider the failings of society, while refusing to acknowledge the ways in which we are failing our children at home.

Christian, are you praying and reading God's word daily with your children at home? Are you making that the supreme priority it is due in your family?

I encourage you, before pointing any fingers at systems for what you perceive as their failings to live up to your own responsibilities at home.

Otherwise, worldly lies and perceptions will prevail in the thoughts and resulting actions of your children.

If we want our children to have a godly example to follow, then WE as parents must SET that example.

"...be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God." (Romans 12:2)

Making it Fun

Do you want your kids to get excited about learning? Then YOU need to get excited about learning. Read about what interests you, write about what inspires you, and create when you feel creative. Enthusiasm and passion generally don't fit neatly into rigid schedules, so remember when making yours to be flexible enough to allow for spontaneity.

This will look different in every house and classroom. In mine, it looks like this.

My kids have certain jobs/chores that we do every day, almost without fail. These are generally things that are necessary for our kitchen to remain functional and for us to be healthy, for things to be picked up enough so that people are not in danger of breaking bones when they walk through rooms, physical activity, Bible study and prayer, piano practice, and outside chores like collecting eggs, feeding the chickens, and taking out compost and recycling. That's it. Those are our daily requirements.

My children initiate most of their academic activities, with me on standby as their guide, facilitator, and encourager. They're able to do this because learning has been a way of life, all day every day, since they came into the world.

When I feel inspired to write, I write. Sometimes, like this morning, my kitchen stays a mess a little longer than usual. Yet, I'll definitely be ready to serve them a healthy lunch to ensure that we'll all have enough brain power and energy to enjoy the rest of our day.

Conversation is constant. Listening to my children enables me to understand what's going on in their hearts and minds, enabling me to make activity suggestions and to encourage their learning adventures. It's fun!

Every day is different, and the kids are doing really well. They're learning well, and from my own observations, they are at or above grade level in every area. There's not a part of the day that I dread. I love it all, and they do too.

I write this not to suggest that my way should be yours or anybody else's. I write to remind anyone who has forgotten that learning doesn't have to be super structured for our children to have their needs meet. Our children are blessed with so many more opportunities to engage in real life and to perform real life applications than children in the public school system. And so do you!

I pray that you this time will be a blessing for you and your children, and that you will remember to smell the flowers along the way. : )

This weekend we watched "Mirror Mirror," featuring Julia Roberts as the queen/witch in a different take on the classic fairy tale, "Snow White".  It was quite entertaining, with a gorgeous setting, a beautiful young Snow White, a handsome prince and seven midget dwarfs. Yet like the majority of movies and TV shows today, it totally flips the model when it comes to gender identity.

Spoiler alert...
The prince was humiliated multiple times throughout. The dwarfs robbed him and hung him upside down half naked; Snow White found him and rescued him. He was later defeated in a sword fight by Snow White herself, and sent back to the queen, half naked and defeated. The queen gave him a (puppy) love potion that turned him into a lap dog in love. Snow White locked him in the dwarfs' house in effort to protect him and the dwarfs from the monster in the woods. She says that in all of the stories she's read up to that point, the prince has been the one to save the princess, and that it's her responsibility, not his, to take back the kingdom.

This is a continuous model of gender reversal that prevails in our entertainment industry. Our morals have been so corroded by its continuous pounding in our psyches that we're blind to its effects.

Do we even need to wonder why when living in such a society as this most men are incapable of true leadership in their homes and in life? Should it surprise any of us that in the majority of relationships men and women are in constant battle, each trying to one-up the other? Many men just give up and let their women take on God's intended role for the male in the family, making the majority of the decisions while he functions more or less on the same level as the children in the home.

Why is this wrong? It's wrong because it will never work. It's wrong because it is totally contrary to God's intended plans for our lives. It's wrong because, even though the needs for mutual respect and honor go both ways in a relationship, for order to be maintained and for marriages and families to stay intact, one's level of power must be a step above the other's. And it must be understood in order to prevent constant bickering and striving, and to keep order and peace.

We understand the necessity of leadership in our government and workplace for these same reasons. Yet because of our prideful sin nature and this broken society in which we live where people have little care for God and His ways, we continue on this steep moral decline.

For those of you who perceive that there is something wrong with this picture, I encourage you to be deliberate and intentional, honoring, loving, and interacting daily with your spouse within the framework that God provides for us in His Word.

Ephesians 5:22-33 says it well...
Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word, that He might present her to Himself a glorious church, not having spot or wrinkle or any such thing, but that she should be holy and without blemish. So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. "For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh." This is a great mystery, but I speak concerning Christ and the church. Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband.

Additionally, we must be intentionally teaching our children about heroic men and women of God, who have embraced the gender roles that God has given them, living lives of honor, and glorifying Him through their accomplishments and in their relationships. 

Be sure to discuss with them how God's intended roles for men and women have been muddied by the brokenness and blindness in our society. Help them to perceive in movies and TV shows all of the ways that men are presented as incompetent, powerless, and incapable, and the ways in which women are taking on the roles that God intended for men. 

Because of society's relentless efforts to confuse these issues, we must be vigilant in these areas. If we are not, the costs will be incalculable.