My New Diet

I'm trying this new diet, a Facebook diet. I've felt changes in my heart and mind lately, a greater challenge to live out my priorities in a more meaningful way. When I first started Facebooking, I thought it was the just about the coolest thing on earth. It has been terrific for helping me to connect with old friends and in making new ones, learning about world events, sharing and strengthening my faith.

Yet as time has gone on, I've noticed that staying connected in one area can diminish connections in the areas of life that matter the most.

This is my second day of my diet. This morning I've spent so much more time with my two year old than normal; we've played in the living room floor with blocks and cars and we fed the chickens while breathing the fresh fall air and looking at puffy, white clouds.

And I felt fully there!

I'm realizing that my strong-willed little boy needs me not only during meals and in the midst of routines; he needs me to be there just because I love him and I want to be. I want to know him more so I can love him better.

I feel less pulled and distracted and so much more peaceful.

Time goes by so fast and we can't make more of it. Yet I'm choosing to redeem the time that I have been given for all that it's worth. And I'm excited!

Playground Talk

One side effect of having a writer's brain is that even your embarrassing moments become fodder subject to some level of publication.

I don't normally think of myself as clumsy. I jog and don't remember the last time I fell; that was true before this morning at least. 

I do often trip as I'm crossing the street beside Huck Sansbury. I usually laugh at myself, and then have a moment of thankfulness for my agility.

Well, this morning was not like that. I was running, or kind of barreling down the hill on Gordon Street, and I tripped and landed pretty hard on the pavement. A guy stopped in his truck and asked if I was okay, while a lady stood on her porch asking the same thing. They kindly waited while I stood up to check, and then I finished my run.

It felt good, not the burning, bloody knee and elbow, but it felt good to be able to get up and finish. I felt strong and capable, which is one of my biggest reasons for running in the first place.

Running makes me feel strong and capable, which leads me to my actual point.

Our kids need to feel strong and capable too. They need loving care and responsive parents, but they also need to feel strong and capable.

We can do that by NOT saying when they're outside...

-Don't run. You'll fall.
-Awww, don't sit down in that. You'll get your clothes dirty.
-Don't hurt yourself.
-Be careful.

Most of these are words from the hearts of well meaning parents, but I encourage you to see deeper to how the kids are likely to receive them.

When they hear...

-"Don't run. You'll fall," they may be hearing, "You little pansy. I don't think you're strong enough to pick yourself up if you fall."

-"Awww, don't sit down in that. Your clothes will get dirty," they may be hearing "Appearance is more important than authenticity. Stay clean so I can put pretty pics. of you on FB so it will look like I'm a really great parent."

-"Don't hurt yourself," they may hear "I see you as incompetent and incapable of overcoming obstacles. Also, this world is a very scary place and you should act accordingly."

We all need to find balance in these areas. Yet, we are not preparing our kids to live in this hard world successfully and independently if we protect them from everything uncomfortable or painful, and discourage them from physical challenges.

Maybe the best way we can remind ourselves of this is to grab our kids and take on some of them together.

I remember the night when, fresh out of college, I was hired for my first teaching job. I was amazed and startled at the enormity of the responsibility that I had just been blessed with. My main thought as I was driving home was that I was being entrusted with the education of a class full of children, that I! was going to be teaching little children how to read. I was truly both scared and very excited!

Now, here I am, good gracious 13 years later, teaching my own personal Kindergartner how to read. It is such a different experience than I would have planned or anticipated. She is much different than my other children, and from me. She's lively, energetic, imaginative, and can "read" many of our picture books, holding the attention of her 2 year old brother as well as I can.

She deserves more than something "Dick and Jane"(ish) or some easy repetitive reader with no storyline. She loves books...real, fun, exciting, beautifully illustrated books! So that's what we're reading. It would be an act of condescension to present her with anything less. Of course I am starting with ones with more repetition and sight words but we're using ones that she enjoys.

As I've thought through all of this, I'm left wondering at what point it became such a radical idea to teach children to read through actually reading. Along with Humpty Dumpty, it seems that real literature, real books, which are the ideal resources for teaching, have fallen off the wall and been replaced by teachers' manuals.

Must we make everything artificial? Must we professionalize everything to the point that the average person feels incapable of teaching his/her own child something as natural as learning to read?

I say we must not!

No Condemnation

I find though that in almost every situation, if you look hard enough, there's something to be thankful for. The key is to turn those thoughts of pity into prayers of praise and thanksgiving. I tried to do this for a time apart from God but it never lasted. Yet through an abiding relationship with Him, through prayer, reading His Word, and making the choice daily to "keep my thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ," I've seen a consistent "moving forward" in this area.

I'm amazed at the way God has worked in my life as I've learned to hold my tongue in some of those negative moments. I liken the pain associated with it, this dying of the flesh, to the death of Christ's body on the cross. We must go through this pain, this molding and refining process so that He can grow us in His righteousness. It's intense in the midst of it, but when it's over, I experience joy and peace that comes only as a result of obeying Him.

I try to ask myself the question, "Is this a word of encouragement to lift somebody up, or is it a word of condemnation that is going to just push someone down further?" God's love doesn't penetrate our darkness through condemnation, but through the hope that is in Him. That ultimately brings the change that He wants in us anyway. 

Without love we have nothing, we are nothing, and we can do nothing. Do everything in love.