Playground Talk

One side effect of having a writer's brain is that even your embarrassing moments become fodder subject to some level of publication.

I don't normally think of myself as clumsy. I jog and don't remember the last time I fell; that was true before this morning at least. 

I do often trip as I'm crossing the street beside Huck Sansbury. I usually laugh at myself, and then have a moment of thankfulness for my agility.

Well, this morning was not like that. I was running, or kind of barreling down the hill on Gordon Street, and I tripped and landed pretty hard on the pavement. A guy stopped in his truck and asked if I was okay, while a lady stood on her porch asking the same thing. They kindly waited while I stood up to check, and then I finished my run.

It felt good, not the burning, bloody knee and elbow, but it felt good to be able to get up and finish. I felt strong and capable, which is one of my biggest reasons for running in the first place.

Running makes me feel strong and capable, which leads me to my actual point.

Our kids need to feel strong and capable too. They need loving care and responsive parents, but they also need to feel strong and capable.

We can do that by NOT saying when they're outside...

-Don't run. You'll fall.
-Awww, don't sit down in that. You'll get your clothes dirty.
-Don't hurt yourself.
-Be careful.

Most of these are words from the hearts of well meaning parents, but I encourage you to see deeper to how the kids are likely to receive them.

When they hear...

-"Don't run. You'll fall," they may be hearing, "You little pansy. I don't think you're strong enough to pick yourself up if you fall."

-"Awww, don't sit down in that. Your clothes will get dirty," they may be hearing "Appearance is more important than authenticity. Stay clean so I can put pretty pics. of you on FB so it will look like I'm a really great parent."

-"Don't hurt yourself," they may hear "I see you as incompetent and incapable of overcoming obstacles. Also, this world is a very scary place and you should act accordingly."

We all need to find balance in these areas. Yet, we are not preparing our kids to live in this hard world successfully and independently if we protect them from everything uncomfortable or painful, and discourage them from physical challenges.

Maybe the best way we can remind ourselves of this is to grab our kids and take on some of them together.