Learning Through Parenting

The past couple of years have been tumultuous for me at times. For a lady with four kids, I guess that's no surprise. I've shared more than once on here that my fourth is what they would term a "horse of a different color." (I love the Wizard of Oz.)

I've received many compliments on my kids and their behavior over the years. That includes number four. My hairdresser and friend jokes that she doesn't believe the things that I share about his daring and defiance. From his first haircut until now, he has sat still as a statue for her, perfectly patient and in complete cooperation.

He really is a great kid, a breath of fresh air, and a delight. Delight is the most honest word I can use to describe him.

I've continued to in great sincerity, use that word even through the toughest of times, through the biggest freak out moments like...the time before he turned a year old and my husband found him perched on top of his sister's dresser in the dark. (Note-the dresser is as tall as the bunk bed.) That was certainly a wake-up call.

And there have been a lot more.

Yet, there has not been a moment when I didn't believe, I mean sincerely believe, that he was and is the most awesome kid in the universe. (I believe this about each of my kids of course.)

Now that things have leveled out some, I thought I might consider and share some things that have kept me sane through this interesting process.

-I've prayed and asked God for guidance and for his safety. A lot.

-My faith enables me to recognize that each of my children was created with a purpose and a plan.  Rather than throwing my hands up in despair in frustrating situations, I'm inclined to ask God what He's trying to teach me, and how I can best influence (note I did not say control) a child's behavior for his/her own good and God's glory.

- I recognize that this is not about me. I am simply a tool in the master's hands to assist in the molding and making of each of our children into the people that He created them to be. So I need not take offense. Too often we as parents receive our children's disagreeable actions or characteristics as an affront against ourselves.

That's immaturity.

-I see that parenting is not only about raising our children but it's also about how we can grow through that process. A self centered focus won't result in anything good, in our kids or in ourselves. Only God can free us from that nonsense.

-I see reason and purpose in it all. I believe that our greatest strengths, channeled inappropriately can become our greatest weaknesses.

Inversely, I believe that the qualities that can be perceived in some situations as our greatest weaknesses, when submitted to the authority of our maker, can be transformed into our greatest strengths.

This frees me from any natural inclination of wishing my kids were different. When I'm trusting in Him, I have nothing to complain about which leaves me more energy to put toward trusting Him in it all.

-I don't worry about what other people think. I'm secure enough not to adjust my interactions with my kids to measure up to my perceptions of others' expectations. This confidence comes from the undivided nature of my position as stay-at-home-mom.

-I keep my expectations consistent. We have a pretty consistent schedule and our behavioral expectations are pretty consistent too. Because of this, little man and the others are less apt to push the limits.

There's always more to be learned, always more to be written, but there are also little mouths (and a big one :) ) that needs to be fed.

This may end up being a two parter...