Boundaries

For anyone who wants to get a better understanding of God and his great love and care for all that He has created, the "healthy" parent/child relationship is one of the best places to look. 

One of the most important things that good parents do is to set appropriate boundaries and enforce them. 

Well...God does the same. 

Like children, many of us question or even scoff at the boundaries He sets. Many of us intentionally defy those boundaries. That is called sin.

Like our children, we often question God in regard to such things. Why, Lord, would you prohibit this or command me to do that? 

In time, those who are faithful followers of Christ press on long enough to learn just as our children often do, that He was right all along.

Many of God's commands are in stark contrast to the things that are tolerated in our world. 

There's friction there, externally as these things become social issues provoking arguments and disagreements among people, and internally, as we as Christians try to process the contradictions between a culture that is at war with holiness and the commands written in God's Word.

Here again, I hesitantly bring up Phil Roberson's interview with GQ. He has received both accolades and words of condemnation for the things that he said. Though his approach is not especially agreeable to me, there are parts of it that, because of my faith and its applications to the things that I see happening in the world today, I cannot disagree with. 

"Everything is blurred on what’s right and what’s wrong. Sin becomes fine…Start with homosexual behavior and just morph out from there. Bestiality, sleeping around with this woman and that woman and that woman and those men,” -

Now before you get mad and leave, did you know that...
-an Italian high court recently found ‘romance’ in 60-year-old man’s sex with 11-year-old, and overturned his guilty verdict?
-Canada just struck down their remaining laws that prohibited prostitution?
-a federal judge delivered a victory to a family of reality TV polygamists by striking down part of a Utah law that prohibits polygamy?
-medical journals in the most esteemed institutions of education (like Harvard) have recently published documents classifying pedophilia as non-deviant behaviors?
-bestiality is practiced in many areas of the world today?

To me, this is indicative of a society and a world that has not only pushed the bounds of morality but rather, have broken them. 

What many do not perceive is that, once we begin to do things outside of the framework in which God has created us to live, there are no bounds to what extremes we will go.

Just as we have reasons for the things that we require of our children, God has good, solid reasons for the things that he requires of and denies us.

Lately, I've seen instances in which worldly studies and data are reflective of the wisdom inherent in doing things God's way. 

Again, did you know that...
-Porn has recently been proven to reduce sexual satisfaction among men?
-Studies show that women experience far greater sexual satisfaction and fewer regrets after having intercourse within committed relationships than just casually.
-Men who have sex with men, which the CDC estimates at four percent of the American population, are more than 44 times more likely to be diagnosed with HIV/AIDS than heterosexual men. They make up 52 percent of the American population with HIV/AIDS, and account for about 63 percent of all new HIV/AIDS cases.

You have to wonder why the mainstream media doesn't report such statistics as are listed in my third example. Might it be that it flies in the face of the liberal agenda of normalizing homosexual behavior? Additionally, studies show that the majority of these men continue to have sex with other men despite knowing that they have AIDS.

In this country, where nurses are being required to get the flu shot for the protection of their patients, of what benefit is it to withhold such information from the general public?

Yet sadly, the more we as a society refuse to recognize homosexuality as a deviant behavior, the more of a problem this will become.

We set up fences for our children for good reason. God gives us boundaries in His word for good reason. It's okay to have doubts. If you do, I encourage you to talk to Him about it. Yet, whatever you do, I encourage you not to let those doubts take you off the path of righteousness that he has planned for your life.

My purpose is not to harp on homosexuality here, though I felt it important to address. Yet God, in His Word does not exalt this above any other sin.

"...know ye not that the unrighteous shall not inherit the kingdom of God? Be not deceived: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor effeminate, nor abusers of themselves with men, 10 nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor extortioners, shall inherit the kingdom of God." 
(1 Corinthians 6:9,10)

But thankfully that is not the end of the story.

"... such were some of you: but ye were washed, but ye were sanctified, but ye were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ, and in the Spirit of our God." (1 Corinthians 6:11)


I'm sorry but I can't come up with a better ending for any of us than that.

11 Things I Wish I Had Known Before Becoming a Mama

1. Your house is not supposed to be spotless and your husband is fine with that. The best thing you can do is develop routine, order, and mealtimes that are predictable and nourishing, Your house won't be really clean until all of your kids are in college and beyond, and it really doesn't matter to anybody but you. Live and laugh. Enjoy THIS. A happy family trumps a clean house any day.
2. REST, child! You will be a kinder, more loving mom and wife as a result.
3. Don't believe the popular lie that there just aren't enough hours in the day. It just leads to frustration and burn-out. And really, there is not enough time for you to do everything that you want to do BUT there is just enough time for you to do everything you need to do. Be guided by the Lord in this area, not by your flesh.
4. Start your day with the Lord. If you don't know where to begin, then buy one of Beth Moore's Bible studies and let her or another great Bible teacher lead you for a while. The Bible teaches that your spiritual nourishment is even more important than your physical nourishment. THIS is the main thing. KEEP it the main thing.
5. Less is more. Keep it simple. Your child does not need all of those toys that you feel like you just have to have. Stay away from electronic toys for as long as you can. Excess will add disorder and chaos to your home. In this distracted world, our children need to learn to focus on one thing at a time. Set up your environment accordingly.
5. You are not going to want to go back to work. Plan your finances and do without whatever you need to so that you won't have to. This time will pass way too fast. Be there, savor it, and enjoy it. Don't pass these pleasures on to someone else who is incapable of treasuring them as you do.
6. There will always be something to worry about. Yet, with each new challenge, God will bring mercies that far outweigh your troubles. He is the man with the plan. Keep your focus on Him and let Him be your peace so that He may be glorified through it all.
7. Don't compare yourself to other parents or your kids to other people's kids. Rejoice with others when their kids are doing well and encourage them when they are having trouble. In the grand scheme of things, you're all in this together. Your kids will be growing up in the same world with those kids and it is in everyone's best interest for them all to become the best people they can be.
8. This too shall pass. Really, it will.
9. Humble yourself and ask for help when you need it. We're put here to love and support each other. Help others when you can and don't be afraid to ask for help. God created us to live in communities, not in isolation. As His love is shared among people who are not required to serve each other in any way, He is glorified. Live out that truth.
10. Don't take credit for your kids' good qualities and behaviors or blame yourself for all of their bad ones. Much is genetically pre-determined. Just love them where they are, allowing the Lord to direct your paths as you allow Him to work through you to mold them and make them into all that He created them to be.
11. Keep it in order, God first, husband second, and kids third. Everything will run more smoothly and peacefully if you live within this framework.

Duck Dynasty

I kind of wish I had stayed away from FB today (though that would be a first) because this Duck Dynasty stuff keeps running through my head. I've liked a lot of things of seen, and then wished I could go back and unlike them all. I even shared one article. Then I deleted it.

Obviously my feelings have been mixed. I must empty my brain of this nonsense so I can sleep so here it goes; my thoughts are as follows...

-As my sister-in-law posted and I thought earlier today, we do have freedom of speech but that does not free us from the consequences of the things that we say. Period. Whoever you are, that's the truth.

-I've seen in a couple of places that GQ excluded part of the interview. If what I am seeing is in reference to this interview, then the part left out was pretty important. It said that the DD guy and his family don't judge and that they tell everybody about Jesus no matter who they are. That's the short version. Again, whether it's true or not, I don't know, but it changes things somewhat I think.

-I have to say personally, that some of the things I read in the interview made me squeamish. I didn't like the language that he used. You can quote the Bible all day in a respectful, loving way but much of what he said was far from that. A true follower of Christ needs to speak words that are God honoring or just not speak at all. As a friend asked me earlier, do you think Jesus and his disciples would have spoken the words that Phil spoke in that interview? I think not and I would guess that those of you who read the actual interview would agree with me. As Christians, our main goal in life should be to walk in love and in that interview, Mr. Phil missed the mark by far.

Don't get me wrong now. I agree with what the Bible says about homosexuality. Yet condemnation has never drawn a person to the Lord. Only love can do that.

-Now for some perspective...regardless of whether or not this suspension is permanent, he is going to be fine. Maybe he'll just have more time to hunt and do the things he loves. It sounds like they're pretty much financially set for life. So why the big uproar.

How consequential is any of this in the grand scheme of life? It is essential to put our energy and thoughts toward things that are worthy of them.

Speaking of that, do any of you remember Pastor Saeed? He is an American pastor imprisoned in Iran for the TERRIBLE crime of being a Christian, for telling others about Jesus just as the Bible teaches us to. He has two kids and a wife praying for his release so that he can come home to them in Idaho. He's been tortured mentally and physically and has endured more than any person should ever have to, and all for the cause of Christ.

So how many of you shared my posts about that? A day was set aside for rallying people to write their congressmen and the president to advocate for this man's release. How many of you went to the website and sent even one e-mail on his behalf? How many have prayed for him and his family?

It's far easier to click share on here and to blab out our opinions on every subject under the sun. It's much harder to actually stand for something real and to serve others in practical ways.

Keeping the main thing the main thing is tough, but there's little that will bring greater meaning to our lives and the lives of those around us than that.

Chore time

One thing I've learned in the last 10 years of being a parent is how important it is that we train our kids to do chores. It teaches them responsibility, emphasizes each person's important role in the family, and helps Mama out tremendously!

When we had two kids and were planning our third, I got really serious about it. I knew that to make room and time for another little person, some things were going to have to change.

Now for those of you who have come by during our messy house time (which happens every day), you're surely chuckling that I have the gumption to share something like this.

Yet balance is important. I perceive all of the learning opportunities inherent in playing with play dough, painting, making a big mess cooking in the kitchen, and building huge block structures that end up looking like they've endured a natural disaster.

It's about balance, though, just like with anything else.

So my kids have what I call jurisdictions, or areas in the house that they're responsible for cleaning up every day at certain times. I got the term from the Duggars, by the way.

So for anyone who is looking for encouragement in this area, this is how we do it.

When we began, I put their chore lists in paper protectors and taped them to the wall; they checked off each thing accomplished with a dry erase marker. That helped them to learn what was expected of them.

Morning chores/jurisdictions involve things as simple as dressing and brushing teeth to cleaning their bedrooms and practicing piano.

Afternoon jurisdictions for one child include feeding the chickens, collecting the eggs, cleaning either the living room or the toy room (they alternate this), and either washing dishes or folding a load of clothes (alternately as well.) The other oldest kid takes out the compost, dumps the recycling, along with cleaning one of the rooms mentioned above and doing either a load of laundry or washing dishes.

You can only imagine the feeling of relief verging on euphoria that I experience after seeing our house change from a disaster area to a place of order, balance, and tidiness after just 30-45 minutes of us all working on it together.

And THAT is why I wanted to share this. If any of you are in that frustrated place, then I encourage you to take control, formulate a plan, and just do it. The task may seem daunting right now, but I assure you, if you work with them consistently, they will get it. Your reward will come and so will theirs.

Due to being around his brothers and sisters, two year old Camden is good at cleaning up as well. There have been times lately when I thought he was dumping something out, went to check, and he was actually cleaning it all up.

That kind of thing really does make it all worthwhile. : )

History: Do They Want it to Be A Mystery?

I just got up from a sweet rest time with my 2 year old. It was nice until thoughts started assaulting me, for which reason I have been forced to release in some format or another...

I don't know why President Obama didn't go to the Gettysburg event in Illinois today to commemorate President Lincoln's speech, although it is somewhat surprising. Yet I guess when you look at the grand scheme of things that really, it's not so much.

I wonder how many school kids heard or read the Gettysburg address today. A poll of that would be interesting. Mine haven't, not yet anyway, but it is on the agenda.

I want to say that the problem with our nation's schools began long before Common Core. History is one subject that has not been taught well in schools, or at least in my lifetime.

As a "good student," graduating at least in the top thirty (number, not percent) of my senior class, my understanding of History as an almost 18 year old, had I been assessed, would have been an embarrassment.

I did not begin to care at all about History until Mrs. Elliot's 11th grade U.S. History class. Mrs. Elliot was an old lady with a bag on her side but she could do some historic reenactments like nobody's business. She was definitely passionate about the subject matter.

When I consider ALL that I learned throughout my 13 years of school in regard to History, the result is depressing. I don't think I could type one page on it.

Most people walking around today, if interviewed, would not be able to tell you who gave the Gettysburg Address or have any clue what it is. How sad it is that something so pivotal has been lost in the shuffle.

That, along with the fact that there are people suing for the right to say "The Pledge of Allegience" in our schools makes me sad.

It makes me want to ask "why," which leads me to the quote that went through my mind and initiated this post.

“Those who don't know history are doomed to repeat it.”

Is that what they want? A group of people who are too ignorant to understand the corruption and evil that is overtaking our government, and thereby shackled to simple thoughts, hence incapable of calling out the powers that be for their wrongdoing and initiating positive change?

Well it seems that their plan is working quite well.

My recommendation, if History is not being taught at your child's school in a way that makes an impression and an accurate one, then teach it yourself. As a witness from 18 years of public education, you can't do any worse.

Like

Thanksgiving...
Feels like feet pacing across the floor impatiently, in anticipation of the day to come, like a cold nose, and air, cool, crisp, and invigorating, then like the warmth of my Grandma's house in contrast, taking my breath away, and her arms wrapped around me so tightly in welcome, squeezing the life out of me as I patiently endure, finally wiggling until she gives me release, grabbing on to my hand in one last attempt to secure me...
Looks like the painted, red fence behind my Grandma's house, with falling leaves covering the ground,
Smells like a smoking chimney, and the earthiness of decaying leaves, scattered across the ground,
Sounds like the creaking door of my Daddy's orange, Chevrolet truck, and its engine, pressing dutifully to our destination, and like crackling leaves, crunched by little feet and shouts and laughter as I run and play with my brother and cousins in Grandma's back yard,
And tastes like appetizer burgers and fries from McDonald's, as lunch is running late, and later like veggies piled high upon my plate in my typical effort to please, bitter to my inexperienced taste buds, followed by chocolate pie, bought the previous day at Wilson's Market.

When the Answer is No

This morning, I woke up really early, and was able to do my Bible reading in complete quietness. One thing I especially savored was reaching for and grabbing onto my Bible in the darkness of my bedroom. As I picked up the treasured book that my Grandma gave me, I felt like I had just caught hold of a good friend, though much more so.

I've read through the words of Jesus taking Passover with his disciples a few good times but I had never really slowed down enough to savor it. In the quietness, this morning I did. I put myself, as best I could, in their places, trying to experience the sensations that they felt and to understand what thoughts they must have been thinking.

Then I read on to Luke 22:42, where Jesus says, "Father, if thou be willing, remove this cup from me: nevertheless not my will, but thine, be done."

I would guess we all know how God responded, not audibly so, but since the crucifixion shortly followed, it seems that His answer to Jesus' heartfelt plea was "no."

According to the Bible, this was not a stoic moment for Jesus. Following the words in v42, "...being in agony (of mind), He prayed (all the) more earnestly and intently, and His sweat became like great clots of blood dropping down upon the ground." (Luke 22:44AMP)

We can only begin to grapple with the intensity of what he was feeling.

Yet he was still crucified. From that, I can only infer that to Jesus' fervent request, God said "no."

None of us like to be told "no" do we?

Over the course of the past year or so, I've read a quote something along the lines of this..."God's answers to your prayers are either yes, not now, or I have something better for you." I've even told my kids this a few times.

Yet after my reading this morning, I no longer think that it's true.

We must take care to not try to fit Jesus into a worldly mold. We are His workmanship. He is not ours.

When I'm tempted to sin, God definitely says "no." When I've prayed for the healing of loved ones with cancer, God has said "no."

I realize that the two scenarios are infinitely different, but each time, God said "no."

Do I believe that He has good reasons for saying "no." Most certainly!

I don't say "no" to my children unless it is necessary and in their best interests, and I believe that He uses the same love and wisdom in His dealings with us.

And do I believe that for the faithful follower of Jesus, every "no" is followed by a greater yes? Most definitely!

 I believe with all my heart that for every loss we endure, the gain will far surpass it. The key to enduring is keeping an eternal perspective.

This can only be done by reading the Bible and praying, every day.

Then we will learn to be thankful in all things as His word commands us, even in those moment when He answers us with a "no."